Michigan couple moved in with family to save, but husband has blown $46K on ‘toys’ — what Ramsey Show hosts say to do

Renee called from Michigan Symbolic offer With a dilemma many Americans can relate to: She and her husband moved into her parents’ home four years ago to save money and get help with child care — but instead of seizing the opportunity to move forward, their debt ballooned. They started out with $10,000 in debt. Today, even though they now earn about $9,000 a month, their total debt has swelled to $46,000. (1)

What happened? According to Renee, her husband has become comfortable with living rent-free, spending freely on hobbies and “toys” while avoiding conversations about money. She estimates that moving will only cost them about $800 more a month, but her husband refuses to consider that — not because they can’t afford it, but because it means downsizing his lifestyle.

The hosts, George Kamel and Ken Coleman, were frank. This was not just a budget issue, it was an issue of relationship and accountability. “He is afraid of losing the lifestyle he created for himself,” Kamel said. Coleman went further, describing Renee’s husband as “acting like a child” and not wanting to face reality. Here’s the advice the Ramsay Show hosts gave the couple — and how cohabiting couples can get debt-free, rebuild their financial independence, and get on the same page before it’s too late.

In Renee’s case, the problem wasn’t just her $46,000 debt, it was also a breakdown in communications. Every time she brought the money, her husband would remain silent or evade responsibility. This dynamic is more dangerous than any interest rate.

According to a survey by Ramsey Solutions, couples in healthy marriages talk about money more, with 54% of those who said their marriages are “great” talking daily or weekly about finances. (2) However, Renee and her husband were not having financial conversations at all. That’s why the show’s hosts recommended counseling before setting a budget. Without emotional compatibility, no financial strategy will succeed.

Financial silence creates discontent, mistrust, and stagnation. But when couples start communicating openly—not with judgment or blame, but with transparency and accountability—they can finally start moving in the same direction.

The goal is not just to share numbers, but to share values. Spending and saving are emotional decisions. If spouses do not understand each other’s fears, goals and expectations, they will not be able to build a future together.

Renee stated that she is the one who keeps track of the family’s finances while her husband completely avoids the topic. This imbalance is a common trap and often leads to the same result: one partner becomes the “parent,” the other becomes the “child,” and resentment grows on both sides.

Kamel stressed that avoidance is not harmful, but rather a choice to maintain an unsustainable lifestyle. “He’ll lose his toys if you guys go rent somewhere,” he said, referring to Renee’s husband’s spending. “He will lose the lifestyle he created for himself.”

If one partner refuses to participate in the budget, this allows them to ignore the consequences of their spending. In Rene’s case, her husband was protected from the reality of his debts and therefore had no reason to change his lifestyle.

Why shared financial responsibility is important:

• When both people see the numbers, they both feel an urgent need to act

• Shared budgeting builds teamwork rather than shifting blame

• Involving both partners makes it difficult to hide spending or make emotional purchases

• It creates accountability – not control

By building a budget together, including debt payments, savings goals, and a moving out schedule, Renee’s husband may finally see the cost of maintaining his current lifestyle and realize that staying in her parents’ house isn’t “comfortable,” it’s keeping them financially stuck.

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Living with parents can be a powerful way to pay off debt, but only if both partners are committed to the same goal. Otherwise, it could lead to a lifestyle change, just as it happened with Renee.

The first step to paying off debt is agreeing on a method of paying off debt. Dave Ramsey recommends several options, including the debt snowball method, where the smallest debts are addressed first, with aggressive payments, while other debts are kept with minimal payments. (3) This method builds a sense of accomplishment, and as small debts are paid off, the focus becomes on the next larger debt, until you are debt-free.

another option, Avalanche methodinvolves the same principle of focusing on one debt at a time, but instead, the debt with the highest interest rate is the first to disappear. This method will save you more money than the debt snowball method, but it may be more difficult, because paying off the first debt may be the hardest.

Once you’ve chosen a debt repayment method, the next step is to eliminate lifestyle spending disguised as “needs.” Spending on hobbies, dining out, vacations, and subscriptions may seem routine, but in debt-paying off mode, they’re luxuries. Living with parents is not about financing a more expensive lifestyle, but rather accelerating financial independence.

Next, set a deadline to move out. Setting a clear deadline creates urgency and drives accountability. Without it, “we’re saving money” can turn into years of complacency.

Finally, couples need to build a joint financial plan. Track progress together weekly. Celebrate small victories. Use visual tools like debt trackers or rewards calculators to make the journey feel real and motivating.

When one partner avoids financial conversations or refuses to change spending habits, it’s not just a financial issue, it’s a compatibility issue. Here are some steps to take:

• Start an honest, non-confrontational conversation that focuses on shared goals, not shifting blame

• Create financial transparency: Review data together so no one is left in the dark

• Set limits: Agree on spending limits or separate “fun money” accounts

• Seek advice if necessary: ​​A neutral third party can break the deadlock in communications

Ken Coleman points out that refusing to engage in conversations about money isn’t just a financial hurdle — it’s a matter of maturity. “That’s it, he’s afraid of it. That’s what happens. He’s a child,” he said.

It’s not living with family that keeps couples stuck in debt, it’s avoiding honest communication and clinging to a comfortable lifestyle. Kamel also reminded Renee that love does not mean enabling bad financial habits, saying: “I was an accomplice in these crimes.”

When both partners are actively involved in managing their finances, develop a joint debt repayment plan and set a clear goal for moving out, cohabitation can be a powerful stepping stone toward financial freedom rather than a permanent crutch. The key isn’t just to cut expenses, but to choose to take control of your financial future — together.

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Ramsay show highlights (1); Ramsey solutions (2),(3)

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. They are provided without warranty of any kind.